What to do if...

What to do if you've had a Bad Date
This is North American Specific - feel free to write us with information on how to deal with a bad date internationally.

Written by Wendy Babcock
  • No matter what choice of occupation you choose, NOBODY DESERVES TO BE ASSAULTED.
  • Once you have either fled the date or if he leaves, GO TO A SAFE PLACE! Call a friend or go directly to the hospital.
  • DO NOT shower until you have been examined by a professional. If you DO decide to charge the asshole the doctors & could find DNA on your body which could be used as evidence if you decide to go to trial.
  • Talk to someone you know and trust not to judge you. If you don't feel you have anyone to confide to you can call Sex Professionals of Canada anytime of day or night and talk to someone their.
  • Now you need to decide to go to the police or not. It is better to tell the police sooner rather then later.
  • If you go to the police try and bring a support with you, (someone at SPOC may be able to go with you).
  • If you are able to, bring a lawyer.
  • If you feel more comfortable speaking to a female officer, ask for a female officer.
  • Tell the police EVERYTHING that happened in regards to the assault. Give them a complete description of him if you can, include license plates, phone numbers anything! Even if all you know is his tattoo that is still something they can go on, as well as men have been caught with no description AT ALL.
  • The police should investigate right away. Someone from thr sexual assault Squad should call you within 2 weeks to set up an appointment.
  • At the appointment you will be taken to an office and the detective will take you to a private room where only the 2 of you are allowed to be. He/she will then inform you that the interview is being video taped. Be ready to be asked some very sensitive and personal questions. Try to answer as many as you can.
  • Sometimes the police don't notify the victim when the suspect has been arrested. Ask them to let you know if/when that happens.
  • Later on the detectives should let you know weather or not they will be charging the individual. (you might have to identify him in a police line up)
  • If the individual is arrested then the police will hand over the case to the Cown Prosecutor office and then to court.
  • Toronto: You could call the Rape Crisis Centre 24 hours a day at (416) 597-8808 - these are volunteers with resourses that can accompany you to the hospital or to court. If you've had a bad date call the Toronto Police Anonymous Bad Date Line at 416-808-0000.

PLEASE NOTE: Not all police are sensitive and some have been known to treat sex workers poorly, sometimes not taking her/him seriously, sometimes not taking a report and sometimes even charging the victim with a prostitute related offence. Police have also been known to call Childrens Aid on mothers who work as prostitutes.

The Client is not Respecting your Boundries
  1. Inform the client that that service is not something you provide or is unsafe (eg. anal to vaginal penetration)
  2. If they continue - warn them that this is not a service you provide, or is unsafe - and if they attemt it again you will be forced to end the session.
  3. Inform the client that the session is now over. Your boundries have been crossed and you are no longer comforatable with continuing the session.