sexual health

 

When your body is your portable workstation, you fear for its safety. You're alert to the many bugs, glitches and unwelcome problems that can endanger its health, put you out of work, make you less marketable.

Tracy Quan

safer sex kit / Your Travel Bag

The women that I work with all have kits which we bring with us or leave in our in-call cubbie. These are standard items in the kit:

Your Travel Bag:

Condoms:
• Carry a variety of different condom sizes and makes (latex/natural)(at least 1 x large)
• Check the expiration dates on the condom packages
• If you will be with multiple partners change the condom between partners
• Cut open condom to use in place of a dental dam in a pinch for rimming

Lubrication:
• Use a water or silicone based lubrication. (Oil based lubes can break down latex.) (favorites in our house - h20, Oh' My, Astroglyde)
• For vaginal sex look for a lubricant that is lower in sugar (High amounts of sugar increase your chances for yeast infections)
• For anal sex look for a lubricant that will not quickly dry out (silicone or H2Ois best)
• DO NOT use an anal sex lubricant that offers any type of numbing agent. This may reduce pleasure and may make it difficult to feel pain. This may result in an injury.

Rubber Gloves:
• Use latex gloves on yourself and your partner for digits, anal play and fisting
• Change gloves between vaginal and anal play
• Remove jewelry from your/your partners hands before any insertion
• If you run out of gloves you can put a condom over your finger/fist in a pinch.
• Cut open glove to use in place of a dental dam in a pinch for rimming

Hand Sanitizer:
• Carry a handy little travel bottle of hand sanitizer for extra germ control
• Be careful about hand to mouth transfer of this stuff it has a yucky taste!
• This doesn’t replace a good soap and water hand wash. Still require that from your client and make sure you do it yourself.

Wet Wipes and Tissues:
Good for sticky clean ups

Mouthwash or Gum:
• Great to have on hand to keep your breath kissable fresh (A must for smokers)
• Nice to offer your client if they need to do the same.
full service / vaginal sex

Fucking without a condom is very dangerous, even if the guy pulls out before cumming. With the world as it is and HIV an ever growing threat - use a condom. If condoms are too expensive - try finding a sex clinic - most provide condoms for free.

Most large cities have various clinics where you may pick up a case or two with no hassles. Links to clinics and online resourses for condoms.

condoms ... how to..

  1. First off he/you should be reasonably hard
  2. take a look at his size and shape and pick a condom which is just right for him (otherwise it may slip off or possibly break)
  3. take the condom out of the package & roll it a little to ensure it will go on the right way
  4. do not use lube on his/your penis prior to intercourse - if you do use a wet nap / tissue and clean it off - otherwise it could slip off
  5. it's best if you put it on - clients can deliberately caused it to break or fake putting it on, or incorrectly put it on..
  6. roll it over the head and down the shaft - I like to hold the tip so that air will not gather (if air does collect it may pop like a balloon - so squeeze it out)
  7. Wearing two condoms might sound like twice the protection, but might sound like twice the protection, but in fact wearing two condoms (or double bagging), will increase the chance of both your condoms breaking, due to the friction of them rubbing together.
  8. Always store your condoms in a cool dry place. Keeping them in your wallet or pocket is not a good idea for this will just destroy your condoms.
  9. If sex goes on for a while, you could check that the condom is still in place by slipping your hand behind to check for the rim of the condom
  10. after ejaculation it is not advised to continue intercourse for the condom is now full and the penis is deflating. so the condom could break or slip off...
  11. when the client is withdrawing - get a hold of the base of the condom and hold it on his penis to avoid it remaining inside you.
  12. If a condom breaks during sex, immediately wash the vagina or anus to reduce the amount of semen present. Do not douche - this will push the cum further up the vagina. You may also wish to use a spermicide.
  13. It is advised to never move hands, fingers, penis or toys from the anus to the vagina without thoroughly washing them first!

The female condom

There is insufficient information available at present to determine whether the female or male condom is safer. It is entirely up to your personal preference and what is available.

 

positive feedback

  • people have found it to be comfortable and more secure than the male condom.
  • some street workers find it useful to insert the condom prior to working
  • men also report using the female condom useful for having anal sex with men.
  • useful for clients whose penis is not a "standard" shape, or if they have a particularly large or small penis or are unable to perform after the interruption of putting on the male condom
  • useful alternative for people who are allergic to latex
  • it is more difficult to break is an advantage condom
  • there are reports from female sex workers that it is sometimes possible to use them without the client's knowledge
  • re-use of the female condom is possible but not advised. At least one project working with women with very limited access to condoms advises boiling the female condom before re-using it and suggests that this can be repeated a maximum of five times
negative feedback
  • its cost, the sound it makes for some couples during sex and difficulties inserting it.
  • it is important to use lubricant for pleasure (a bb feel) and to avoid tearing
  • It is important to places the penis into the condom. Otherwise the penis may go between vagina/anus and the condom.
oral sex

On you - it's a choice. there are some risks.. for example herpes (cold sores) transferring from the lips to the vaginal area.. chlamydia and other STI's can be found in the throat and transferred..

 

dental dam - you can get the client to use a dental dam which is basically a rectangle of latex or a condom cut lengthwise... This may be used with female clients as well. Some of us have safer sex clients request this frequently. Please note - saran wrap or plastic wrap is not a barrier against HIV/AIDS.

 

bare back blow jobs (bbbj) - also a choice - there are risks - if you have cuts in your mouth or throat you run the risk of contracting HIV as well as chlamydia and other STI's. If you have cuts in or around your mouth it is advisable not to give bbbj. HIV prevention messages aimed at gay men sometimes rate oral sex as a low risk activity. This is based on epidemiological (science of disease control) evidence about HIV, but low risk does not mean no risk. We need to decide what our boundaries are and research the risks.

To reduce the risk you can:

  • avoid flossing or brushing your teeth several hours before, and right after sucking so that there are no open cuts in the mouth;
  • stop sucking before he ejaculates (cums);
  • suck and lick only the shaft and balls, avoiding the head of his cock.

covered blow jobs (cbj) - the key here is to not rip the latex especially if you intend to use the same condom for vaginal sex..

 

kissing & transferable STI's through oral - Kissing is a sensitive subject many find it to be too intimate and personal for commercial sex. It carries no risk of HIV/AIDS transmission but herpes, glandular fever, gonorrhoea and syphilis can all be spread by kissing.

rimming - anal licking & sucking

Many clients enjoy rimming you or on them.... It is important to weigh the risks of infection if you choose to do this. There is a very high risk for hepatitis and parasites (that may take years to get rid of)...

To reduce this risk:

  • get vaccinated for Hepatitis A and B
  • wash thoroughly around and just inside the ass hole (anus) before rimming;
  • rinse with antaseptic mouth wash;
  • use a dental dam or split a non-lubricated condom lengthwise or a latex glove and use it as a barrier between the mouth and ass hole;
  • If you choose to rim clients a regular parasite cleanse may reduce your risk of future illness;
  • If a client rims you avoid kissing them afterwards

Clients often try to stretch boundries.. like kissing after rimming. It is up to you - speak up.

 

 

anal sex

Health professionals state that unprotected anal sex is the riskiest kind of sex with regard to transmitting STD's of any sort. This is because the internal walls are much thinner and tiny tears occur thus you are more prone to infection.

back door basics 101

  • The key here is to ensure there is enough LUBE so that the anal walls will not tear. The walls of the anus are much thinner than vaginal walls. The anus doesn't lubricate, so you need to use a lot water-soluble lubricant.
  • bare back anal play is NOT recommended for it is likely that you will tear - therefore you are at a high risk of HIV infection.
  • If you have cuts on your hands using gloves is a good idea for there are all kinds of parasites that live in the intestines.
  • Relax- the anus consists of two rings of muscle, dubbed the external and internal sphincters. The external sphincter is under voluntary control -- you can relax it at will. But the internal sphincter is _not_ under voluntary control. If you are tense, your internal sphincter will be tight, and trying to force anything into it will hurt, which will make you (and it) even _more_ tense. So the rule in anal sex is to go slowly; you shouldn't force your way into it.
  • A tip - take control - grab the instrument being inserted and guide it... pulling in and out - so that the second ring will relax - when your ready release your hand.
  • if you pain in your ass while having anal sex, STOP. Too-rough anal sex can stress and possibly tear the anal lining, which can lead to very serious infections. Anal sex does NOT mix with force, and should NEVER be used as a way to inflict pain. And if you find bleeding from the rectum, go see a doctor .
  • Length does matter - the intestines are anything but straight. The rectum (the part just before the anal opening) ends in a sharp, ninety degree upward curve. If you attempt to push past this turn, you will only cause tremendous pain, for both yourself and for your client.
  • Never move hands, fingers, penis or toys from the anus to the vagina without thoroughly washing them first!
  • last note - Make sure your anal toys have a flared base. Toys can slip in, and unlike the vagina there is no natural barrier preventing objects from traveling further up the body. Avoid an embarrassing trip to the doctor. Also, Never insert anything sharp into your anus. The rectum is lined with thin, sensitive tissue.
hand jobs

If you or your client has cuts on the hands or you just got a manicure you may wish to use gloves - any open sores you may run the risk..

Never move hands, fingers, penis or toys from the anus to the vagina without thoroughly washing them first!

digits - fingers inserted into the vagina or anus

Digits (lingo from boards) - Inserting fingers into the vagina or anus. Inspecting the clients hands for open wounds and warts can be done without any discomfort. Also it is advised to check finger nails to insure that you will not be injured during the session. The risks are limited... It is up to you and your comfort level. It is suggested to use gloves for anal play for many parasites are transferable through the skin.

fisting 101 - anal or vaginal

  • Ensure that you (or your client) cut and file the finger nails until every finger is as smooth as it could possibly be. The fingers will be in some very delicate places -- places that may not have pain receptors. You want to make sure you minimize all chance of causing damage.
  • It is advised to use latex gloves. There may be a small amount of tearing and blood could be transferred.
  • Use LOTS of lube. Push it in with your fingers. Make a huge mess. Get it all over your hand (or your clients), the back of your hand, between your fingers. Keep applying it as you go. You can't have too much lube.
Ejaculate - cum

As sex workers we are often dealing with cleaning up and disposing of cum. Whether it be on us or on the linens, in the condoms, in the waste, on the walls... the list goes on.. Worst case scenario the cum has HIV in it.. it can be cleaned up and the threat disappeared with a 10% bleach solution. Taking a cloth and wiping the room down is not such a bad idea... If you are on the street and it's on you or if you are in a space.. Antaceptic wipes or soap and water will do the trick. Keeping some antiseptic wipes next to the bed can help with immediate needs.

HIV/AIDS is transmitted when blood, vaginal fluids, breast milk or semen from an HIV infected person enters your blood stream.

 

Male ejaculate / cum

Pre-cum is a clear secretion from the glands of Littre that seeps from the urethra when males are in a sexually excited state. Pre-cum may carry the HIV/AIDS virus if the person is infected.

Ejaculate - the milky, white fluid that contains sperm released by males during sex. Many males produce different quaintly of semen (which carries the sperm).

 

Female ejaculate / cum

The fluid reveals the presence of high levels of prostatic acid phosphates (a chemical secreted by the prostate gland and found in semen). This would seem to indicate that a woman's ejaculation is similar in composition to semen (only without the sperm, of course).

Female ejaculate is worked up in the spongy area around the female urethra, better known as the G-spot. It's located at the upper part of the vagina, just behind the entrance at the back of the pubic bone. A woman may have trouble finding it because it is not an easy spot to locate by yourself, but your partner may identify it because it actually feels like a little sponge. When stimulated, this little sponge will fill itself with fluid. The first time ejaculating feels like your letting urine flow because it originates almost from the same area. Don't worry, it's impossible to urinate while having an orgasm (the urethra will temporarily close up) so whatever it is you're doing, it's not urinating.

 

Pearls / Russian / Facials / Golden Showers

Clients often like to ejaculate on you. So again it is up to you.. The risks are STI transmission through open wounds or orifices (mouth, eyes, nose, vagina, anus). If semen does get in your eyes it will burn but flushing with water will help ease the stinging.

Ways to reduce the risk:

  • wash up afterwards with soap and water - if this is not available then you may wish to keep antiseptic wet naps available.
  • If it gets in your mouth rinse with antiseptic mouth wash.

Golden Showers

Golden showers - being urinated on or urinating on someone. Sex workers often get many requests for this - some of us do offer to give and receive golden showers. The risks are Hepatitis transmission primarily. To reduce the risk get your shots and wash up afterwards.

Female clients & Duo partners

If you have cuts on your hands you may wish to consider using gloves... Other considerations include using dental dams or condom cut lengthwise.

 

Oral sex on a female carries minimal risk of HIV transmission according to epidemiological (science of disease control) tests but herpes, glandular fever, gonorrhoea, syphilis... can all be spread by oral sex.

There have however been reported cases of female on female HIV transmissions. So again it is your choice.

nutrition for sexual health

The vagina is very sensitive and has a ph balance that needs to be maintained. When the food we eat lacks essential vitamins, minerals, enzymes, and other nutrients, we become undernourished and subject to disease. It is important to consider these factors when choosing your diet...

  • As much as possible, avoid sugary foods and drinks and fried, fatty foods.
  • Cut back on milk and wheat products.
  • Substitute herbal teas for coffee and regular teas, juices for commercial soft drinks.
  • If you must use sweetener, use a little honey.
  • drugs such as antibiotics can change the growth rate of yeast in the body
  • Eat more zinc: this mineral is thought to boost libido in both sexes. Shellfish, plus whole grains, nuts, seeds and red meat have lots of it.
negotiating safer sex & services

Know your limits...

Each day we may be faced with clients who wish to push our boundaries. One way to ensure we are comfortable with our work is to know our personal limits. Everyone is different. Some of us have worked with women who do not kiss or others who provide only massage or some who provide only domina/sub services and some who have no limits.

Spend some time thinking about what you are comfortable with. Knowing that you may change your mind or opinions as time goes on. Some things to consider:

  • writing out your boundries..
  • putting your boundaries / do's & don'ts on your website
  • telling your clients before you meet them what your hard boundaries are
  • sitting with your client after $$ have been exchanged and discussing both your comfort levels

You have several choices about how to react to demands for sex or services that reach or go beyond your boundaries.

  1. Refuse the client. Although this eliminates risk it obviously leaves you with no money, or even in debt if expenses have been paid. So it is not the option you want to take. It also may result in an unpleasant scene with the client and possible difficulties with managers or others who influence the situation.
  2. Discuss the matter with the client. Persuasion can be successful, but only if you have the opportunity (sometimes others negotiate on behalf of the you), speaks the same language as the client, and has good communication skills, confidence and information. The client also must be reasonable and sober.
  3. Safer sex. Offering an alternative service which does not require you to perform that act. Again, for this to be successful, good communication is needed and you must be in a safe position.
  4. Deception If it is necessary develop skills such as putting on a condom the client knowing ( perhaps with the mouth) or rubbing the penis between the thighs or moistened hands rather than the vagina or mouth. While this avoids the need for negotiation, it can be difficult for the sex worker if the client wants more and is angry about it.
  5. Solidarity In most places the success of any of these strategies is strongly influenced by a client's opportunity to obtain unsafe services from another sex worker. It is therefore important that whole sections of the sex industry are involved and mobilised in educational and community strengthening activities so that clients cannot bargain sex workers for unsafe services and lower prices. This exert was taken primarily from Making Sex Work Safe
Group Encounters

Know your limits...

If your client has the means and are thinking of booking a group of girls for a little fun.. There are some basics...

  1. be prepared - loads of condoms, lube, gloves, garbage pail, water, mouthwash, antaceptic wipes, towels,
  2. use seperate condoms on every girl/boy
  3. remember that each person offers different services/has different boundries - you can discuss this at the beginning when you all lay out the adventure
  4. never touch your bits then go to touch one of the women - there are fluids that are present and it is never advisable to transfer them with DATY & Digit play
  5. anaceptic wet wipes for between DATY/Digit and other play
  6. mouth wash (DATY) - it's proper to rince between girls and to make it as easy as possible
  7. never double dip - it's not good for the inner balance or our bits - this conserns FS, Digits & DDP
  8. Conserning all things anal - do not try and go from anilingus to oral sex! again not healthy for our bits.
  9. rimming - once it has occured as much as you are into the moment... take a break - rince, wash with soap - this may get you kissed again.. (sounds basic lol)
  10. more on DATY - from one girl to the next - rince... wipe.. we are all healthy individuals - but our inner balance is completly different...
  11. teeth brushing - one should wait about 20 minutes after brushing before engaging in oral play as there may be small cuts caused by brushing
  12. have fun and relax... the flow will be natural.. it won't take away from the 'sexiness' it will make us want to ravish you that much more..
Menstruation management

Some choose not to work during menstruation but many of us do.

Small sea sponges (found in the make-up section of your local drug store)

When researches ask escorts / street workers if they work when on their cycle - the answer is usually no. However when a discussion of small sponges to control blood flow arises.. everyone pipes in with suggest ions..

These can be moistened and the excess water squeezed out - then inserted and taken out and rinsed at appropriate intervals. Sponges cannot pass through the cervix, so there is no need to worry unduly if it seems "lost". Affixing thread to help retrieve the sponge has sometimes caused problems such as cutting the vagina or becoming entwined around the cervix. The same sponge should not be used for more than a day (if you need to use over multiple days you can boil it).

 

Birth Control

We have many choices to make when deciding what forms of contraception to use. some choose to just use condoms to prevent pregnancy while others choose condoms and additional barrier. Weighing through the choices is best done with a doctor or gynecologist.

  • Birth control pill - hormone pills you take at the same time every day. Used right, they're almost 100% effective in preventing pregnancy. (Remember, they offer no protection against STD's or HIV.) If you sometimes forget to take them, take them at varying times of day or use antibiotics while you're on them, they're about 97% effective.
  • Injections - Depo-Provera - An injection of synthetic progestin, which seeps into your bloodstream gradually over the next three months. It's 99 percent effective. Most evidence says that Depo causes fewer health problems than the Pill, and most women who use it are happy with it. However, some women have menstrual irregularities and weight gain, and it may also increase the risk of breast cancer in young women.
  • Norplant - consists of six match-size capsules implanted in your arm. Over five years, they slowly release synthetic progestin. Only about 4% of the women who use Norplant for the full five years get pregnant. Like the Pill, it's also been linked to breast cancer. In addition, about 75% of women using Norplant have irregular menstruation the first year, and some have serious spotting between periods. It doesn't offer std or HIV protection, and it may be less effective for women who weigh more than 154 pounds.
  • IUD (currently used by 160 million women) is the world's second most popular contraceptive method, after sterilization. (intrauterine device) probably isn't appropriate for women who think they might like to have children one day. Neither one offers protection from STD's or HIV, and the IUD carries a risk of long-term infertility if you get an STD or pelvic inflammatory disease.
  • latex allergies
    • Lambskin condoms with latex over top for STI prevention
    • female condom
    • Polyurethane Condom.
      There exists a male condom made from polyurethane instead of latex. In the U.S., it's sold under the name Avanti. It's promoted as being twice as thin as latex condoms and impervious to oil-based lubricants, but some studies have indicated that it breaks far more easily than its latex counterpart.may be optio
  • Spermicides or microbicides -Microbicides are chemicals that kill germs or viruses, while spermicides kill sperm. A common spermicide is Nonoxynol9, also referred to as N9. Research has shown that this product does not have a microbicidal effect and does not reduce the risk of HIV infection. In fact, studies suggest that the risk of HIV is raised by N9 use, as it is responsible for skin irritation and breakage.
  • diaphragm - The diaphragm is a Frisbee-like shallow cup you fill with spermicidal cream or jelly and insert before having sex. You have to be fitted for the right size (like shoes!). It's 94% effective if used consistently and correctly. There are almost no side effects or dangers, it offers some protection against the gonorrhea and trichomoniasis, and it's affordable: About $20 plus the cost of a clinic visit and spermicide (about $8 a tube). New studies are looking at whether the diaphragm reduces HIV acquisition risk by covering the cervix, a site that is particularly vulnerable to infection. Good to hide menstrual flow

Taking the birth control pill or an injectable contraceptive such as Depo Provera throughout the whole menstrual cycle will prevent bleeding, but should not be a regular practice

You may choose to offer alternatives to vaginal sex during menstruation.

Internal Health

Douching and Cleaning

Male and female sex workers use a number of personal hygiene methods. Health care providers do not recommend douching to clean the vagina. Douching changes the delicate chemical balance in the vagina (and the vaginal flora), which can make a woman more prone to bacterial infections. It also can spread existing vaginal or cervical infections up into the pelvic organs (uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries).

What is a healthy and safe way to clean the vagina?

Because the chemical balance of the vagina is very sensitive, it is best to let the vagina clean itself. The vagina takes care of cleaning itself naturally through secretions of mucous. Warm water and gentle, unscented soap during the bath or shower is the best way to clean the outside areas of the vagina. Products like feminine hygiene soaps, powders and sprays are not necessary, and may be harmful.

Enemas - Anal cleanse

For those of us who wish to engage in anal sex - clients often like us to cleanse and remove any fecal matter (poo he he)... an enema is the best bet for this. Some things to consider - if you cleanse regularly you should consider the health of you intestinal flora (friendly bacteria) - you will need to replenish it for repeated flushing will destroy the flora.

What you will need:
  • A comfortable spot that might allow for cleanup to occur. Your bed with a couple of bath towels might be good. A cold bathtub isn't all that great in the winter time, but might work in warmer times.
  • An enema bag (a disposable one might be good for your first time or you might want to buy a reusable one because they are only a few dollars more) with a clamp.
  • Lube - for insertion of the tube
  • Water (distilled water is not advised)
  • A toilet nearby
  • Someplace to hang the enema bag

Location / position:

  • Toilet - for a quick intestinal flush - on the toilet works..
  • Bed: lie on your side or on your back: be sure to place towels in case you experience leakage.
  • A good place to do a full bag enema is in a warm bath - easy access to the toilet and the water helps to relax.

Water :
Temperature is important when administering an enema. The water being too hot or too cold can cause a sort of cramping. Luke warm is the best.

How much water depends on the type of anal/intestinal cleanse you wish for. You may use the hose clam to regulate the quantity and speed of water.

  • to clear before anal sex - a half bag should be more than enough.
  • a cleanse to remove build-up on the intestinal walls you may wish to use a bag of water up to two quarts.

Position & Technique:

  • Find a good position. Make sure you are comfortable and can relax.
  • Be sure you can clean up if a problem is to occur.
  • Lubricate your anus.
  • As the nozzle is inserted, relax as it passes your sphincter.
  • Relax, a slow the flow will reduce the chance of cramping. If cramps come - stop the flow, breath deep, and try massaging your stomach area.
  • When you have inserted the desired amount of water - slowly remove the hose.
  • You might feel your stomach expanding. Let it. Try to hold the enema for a few minutes (if you are doing an intestinal cleanse).
  • When it is time to evacuate, take yourself to the toilet.
Cleanup

Cleanup should be relatively easy. Here are a few tips to follow.

  • a 10% bleach solution is good to use to sanitize your enema bag and tips. Rinse your hardware before and after you use the bleach solution.
  • some people like to sanitize their equipment with boiling water.
  • hang the bag to dry. This will retard mold growth.
  • it is advised to not use your enema bag for anything else and to not share it with anyone. Your enema bag should be a very personal item, for your use only.
  • sanitize any linens in a bleach solution .
Toys

Toys are often shared. It is a good idea to use condoms to cover toys and wash / sanitize them afer use. Friction from sex toys can also cause tearing inside your vagina and anus. Sharing sex toys can allow HIV/AIDS infected vaginal fluid on the toy to have access to the vulnerable tissue in your pussy and ass. It is advised to never move toys from the anus to the vagina without thoroughly washing them first and changing the condom!